Becoming hysterical during an emergency
I have a confession to make… I love watching police body cam footage and other videos online of disasters, emergencies, and horrible events. They are so fascinating and intriguing. I tell myself that it’s for educational purposes to teach myself about what can happen.
A common thing that I’ve noticed in many of the videos is the random lady in the background going absolutely hysterical. It could be a video of a gunman going through a mall or police arresting her boyfriend and most of the time there is some lady just screaming. 😱 Nothing is happening to her, the gun shots may be at the other end of the building, but she is still freaking out. Guys aren’t excluded from this, but they usually manifest it in shouting profanity.
This made me think about when I might be in a bad situation, will I react the same way? What causes someone to freak out like this? Is it from not feeling prepared, lack of mental coping, or is that just what some people do?
I laugh a little at how they react but then tell myself that I might do the same thing if put in that situation. I can’t judge them from the comfort of my safe couch at home when they are seeing horrible things happen right before their eyes.
If there is a way to train myself to not get into this mental and emotional state and understand what causes it though, I think I will be better for it. First off, screaming exposes your location and draws the gunman to yourself. Second, someone that is freaking out that bad isn’t thinking clearly and that leads to mistakes and even more danger.
What are your thoughts on all of this?
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Comments (48)
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Molly N. 😆 - December 3, 2021
For those interested and who are as weird as me 😳, here are two YouTube channels I like watching.
Then there’s social media and watching the news.
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Bill Masen - December 3, 2021
Fight, Fright or Freeze is the issue. Some people in a crisis naturally will FIGHT back against the event in an effort to protect themselves or others. other people are overwhelmed by FRIGHT and become hysterical and irrational, and thirdly FREEZE, those who are paralised with fear or simply canot take in on what is going on around them. It appears so unreal or suprising they simply dont know how to react so they freeze to the spot.
Professionals like cops, soldiers etc and some civilians are trained to react calmly in a crisis as are many more experienced preppers and survivalists.
Whilst those specialist professionals will react by moving TOWARDS the fire or gunfire or threat which is their job, Better trained and functioning preppers would know how best to avoid becoming a victim or target and move appropriatly BUT are often prepared to take the initiative to protect themselves WITHOUT waiting to be told what to do.
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Molly N. 😆 - December 4, 2021
That makes a lot of sense, that being hysterical is just a reaction to fight, flight, or freeze.
I hope that my training and prior thinking about situations will lead me to flee a dangerous situation or have the reflexes and clear head to fight if need be. I’m just scared that I might be in that freeze category, but I hope not.
🙂 Thanks for your comment!
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inthso - December 7, 2021
I think you’re right, but it’s a reaction to Fight, FLIGHT, or Freeze, and not knowing which to do. If you decide to freeze, you’re supposed to remain still and quiet, so as not to attract attention. We see it with baby animals & camoflaged, vulnerable animals. But humans, without instincts & having the jazzed-up hormones coursing through to aid in fight or flight, freak out. As you say. We may be the most intelligent, but smartest we aint.
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JBinAZ - June 22, 2022
…let us not forget the 4th type: The Oblivious! The sky could be turning blood red with giant aliens vaporizing people left and right, but your aunt marge is still going on about the price of cutlets at the grocery store (“LAST week, they were $2.99 a pound and you can’t tell me blah, blah, blah…” ZAP!)
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Eric - December 3, 2021
“There will be those moments in your career where there is [a] fine line between your name being placed on an award, or a wall. That line will be drawn in advance by you, with your training.”
– Excerpt from “Street Survival II: Tactics for Deadly Force Encounters”
The hysterical behavior that you’ve described is a natural response to extreme stress. You can mitigate substantially by training for specific situations and/or training to control your own stress levels. But I think you also need to accept that you will be stressed in the kinds of situations that you are talking about, and that it’s okay to not be perfect.
The book mentioned above is meant for police officers. It’s full of stories about police officers that survived, or didn’t survive, very dangerous situations, and has lots of advice about how police officers can improve their own odds of survival. I’m not expecting to be in these kinds of situations myself, but still found the book very interesting.
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Molly N. 😆 - December 4, 2021
That is a good quote and sounds like a book I would be interested in reading. 🙂 Makes a lot of sense. It would be nice to be in a profession where I deal with stresses like a paramedic or police officer does so I could develop that coping mechanism.
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M. E.Contributor - December 3, 2021
Practicing diaphragmatic breathing can be extremely helpful for this. Regular practice is critical; daily is best. I strongly recommend practicing in intentionally stressful situations, like martial arts classes or while watching terrifying movies. Learning to make diaphragmatic breathing your “go to” response when stressed will short-circuit the fight or flight response and allow your brain to think more clearly (there is plenty of scientific writing on why this is and how it works if you’re interested) This practice has been a lifesaver for me and my loved ones in a variety of situations that could have ended badly had I not trained so thoroughly for years to simply – breathe – when faced with a sudden crisis.
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GB - December 3, 2021
Unfortunately, I am a ‘freeze’-type person, a self-confessed dear-in-the-headlights responder. Give me a simple order and I can follow it, just don’t expect me to take control in an emergency situation. I would really like to be more useful, but I need training. I’m looking into volunteering with the SES (which may be the equivalent to CERT, I’m not sure), especially now they’ve had burnout after last year’s bushfires (no pun intended).
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lonewolf - December 4, 2021
the normal response is Fight or Flight, personally I prefer ” those that run away get to fight another day” , I dont get involved in other peoples fights, thats their problem and none of my business.
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hikermor - December 4, 2021
I learned a lot about my reaction to emergency situations by volunteering for a mountain search nd rescue group – some operations were routine and others weree definitely not.
When you have a job to do, you focus on the task – you don’t have the time to vent your feelings -that comes later….
Similar volunteer work can do the same for you.
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M. E.Contributor - December 4, 2021
What extensive training has taught me is this: EVERYONE – even the highly trained – will freeze initially. The difference between training and not is that the training gradually conditions you to recognize that you have frozen, then breathe, and thus the rational brain cells kick in in a matter of seconds. instead of minutes. This means the difference between making a huge mistake, and not. Without training the typical response is that either people remain frozen, or get hysterical.
A lot of people want to hear that training will make you “badass”, like you just won’t be fazed, or that you’ll instantly do the right thing without even a pause. Learning that training teaches you to breathe seems – so mundane. But I learned from a guy who trains SWAT teams and special forces. Learning to breathe in a way that restores your nervous system is a key survival skill. And much harder to master than it appears. My training has twice been put to a very serious test, and I’m confident that this breathing technique was essential in emerging unscathed physically and with minimal, and more easily repairable, psychological impact.
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Thekaren - December 11, 2021
Check out CERT. Lots of useful information.
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Little Bear’s Mom - December 6, 2021
There’s a great book by Amanda Ripley that systematically unpacks that initial panic response. It’s called “The Unthinkable: Who Survives when Disaster Strikes—and Why.” I read it a couple years ago and still think about it all the time. Highly recommend it.
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Alicia - December 6, 2021
Another thing to consider is how to help/handle someone who is hysterical. In my college dorm, the fire alarm went off at 4am in February (small fire in a trash room) . One of my roommates was completely hysterical. Literally pacing in circles and screaming. Since it was about 30F outside, I was calmly repeating to all 3 roommates to put on shoes and coats as we needed to leave the building. It was like I was talking in a foreign language to the hysterical one, but she followed the example if not instruction. I don’t know what I would have done if she hadn’t come around. Probably ratcheted up the firmness and the volume. But then what? Anyone had that training?
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LadyKaos - December 7, 2021
at least she reacted, I’m a fire marshal at my work and the only time the alarm has been because of a real fire (some pallets of paperwork had caught because of faulty electrics) five people stayed in the factory and continued running they’re machine, I had to go and find them and convince them to leave the building, two of them argued with me and said it was probably only a drill even after I told them I had actually seen the fire
this made me wonder if denying the disaster was some sort of psychological reaction?
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Bill Masen - December 7, 2021
Sadly there is still no known cure for the terminally stupid.
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Greg P - December 7, 2021
Your story reminded me of a similar incident which pointed out to me that you should use your common sense. My wife and I were in a fitness class at our local gym when the fire alarm went off. It was a cold January day ( air temperatures in the single digits with a wind chill of around -10 F or so. Our coats and car keys were unfortunately in the next building over ( my bad). One of the staff members insisted that we should go outside. We ignored her as there was no sign of fire or smoke (turned out to be a false alarm). We stayed in the building vestibule until the all clear was given. We later found out that they had made people in their swim suits exit the indoor pool area in the next building over. Fortunately no one died or suffered frostbite as far as I know.
A few lessons – always know where the exits are ahead of time, don’t assume that the people working at the facility have better sense than you do, and keep your car keys close at hand.
Also, i sent a letter to the city, the fire department, and the gym (public facility) after the fact laying out what had occurred that day. I never got a response from anyone, so I can only assume that they never addressed this gap in their safety plan.
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M. E.Contributor - December 7, 2021
I have actually had that training. When people are completely adrenalized like that, a simple thing that often helps is to literally weigh them down. While hugging works best, with a stranger it might be best to ask permission to just put your hands on their shoulders.
Then gently and firmly lean your weight into them and press their body weight firmly into the ground, gradually increasing the pressure. As you do this it helps to look into their eyes and ask them to breathe with you (ideal if you can do the diaphragmatic breathing). You can observe in their eyes (the pupils change) when the switch “flips” and they go from being adrenalized to having their rational mind restored, and at that point you can release them and encourage them to keep breathing while you give them clear, simple instructions: “Put your shoes on and leave through the front door. Put your shoes on and leave through the front door. Put your shoes on and leave through the front door” repeatedly. It usually only takes a minute or two to get them to calm down – there’s something about the weight that is very calming.
As with anything, practice is essential – I used to practice this in martial arts classes when someone had received a particularly bad strike or kick. Another opportunity to practice is if you are with friends completely freaked out over a very scary movie. Do not try this the first time in an actual emergency! It’s a bit of an art to learn to merge your weight with theirs and make them feel comforted vs. threatened – you’ll know it when you feel it.
Another small but important thing is to practice “positive speak”. Say what you want them to do – not what you don’t want them to do. For example, never ever say “Don’t go in there!” if “there” is where the fire is. Because their freaked out brain only hears the end of that sentence – “go in there!”. Practice “positive speak” in daily life and you’ll see how challenging it is and how common it is for people to say the negative – and how you’ll get much better results by flipping things around.
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Molly N. 😆 - December 9, 2021
You’re onto something there. You know how people buy a 20lb weighted blanket (like this) to sleep better? I think it is because that pressure and weight does something to your body to calm you down.
Then there are other kinds of people who don’t like pressure or being touched during stressful situations. Once I had a family member having a panic attack and I thought I could go over and calm her down. I actually did put my arms on her shoulders like you said but it didn’t help. Other times I have tried to give a hug to a family member who I had a disagreement with and they push me off and yell “DON’T TOUCH ME!”. 😢
I think the key is to ask for permission like you mentioned and if someone is angry or upset with you in particular, then give them space. But panicking during a disaster or emergency is probably a totally different situation and pressure and touch sounds like it would have a powerful effect.
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LBV - December 8, 2021
As part of earthquake awareness our government (NZ) have a shake out practise. They encourage people to either brace for the quake or take part in an evac hikoi – that is walking out of tsunami danger. The idea is that if you practice, when the real thing occurs, your memory will kick in and you will act rather than freeze.
I think that prepping sort of works the same way. As preppers, you look and consider what might happen and mitigate by preparing, essentially going over what you will do.
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Essie Carroll - December 8, 2021
Practice makes perfect. Doing earthquake drills on a regular basis, if taken seriously, will only help people to be ready for the real thing.
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River - December 8, 2021
I’m medical and I can say in an emergency I find that have a momentary freeze – while my brain decides what order I want to do things in. I’m sure it’s about 2-3 seconds, but it feels like slow motion. But being in charge of the emergency is my job – and I’m trained for it.
Out in the real world, I’ve been in 2 serious car accidents (where I was not at fault). I found I also did that momentary freeze before I started moving. Both times my kids were with me and they were mildly injured. But I’m not sure I would not have hit hysterics if they had been seriously injured.
Someone else mentioned that as preppers we think through all these different scenarios. I don’t really share that with regular folks, they tend to think I’m a bit morbid when I do. But, I think it’s helpful. Seems to me that it would cut down on your freeze time or hysterical reactions if you’ve thought about – where the exits are, how would you keep the rest of your family well if one of you got covid, how would you stay warm if you can’t heat your house for five days, if the aggressive dog charges me what’s my plan. . .
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Molly N. 😆 - December 9, 2021
I’ll talk morbid stuff with you! 😨 Just like you I don’t have people in my life to talk to about this because they think I’m being paranoid, overthinking, or am morbid. I call it being prepared mentally.
I’m grateful that you mentioned how you react in situations. How you are trained yet still take a few seconds to process and act. That’s helpful to know.
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CR - April 5, 2022
I’ll second that, Molly & River! Thinking scenarios through, watching disaster & dystopian movies, books, all that good stuff. I feel it prepares us mentally too, even when the characters get it all dead wrong! Useful to critique & strategize a better response in my opinion.
Hard to find “like minded lunatics” to chat with about it though!
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Thekaren - December 11, 2021
Well, I’m #ActuallyAutistic and have two kinds of PTSD, so I know about meltdowns 😀
In an emergency (and that could be small, like I cut myself) I have found that if I don’t know what to do, my brain flails around frantically trying to figure out what I should do. I’m not one of those folks that ‘just knows’ how to respond in an emergency; give me a task, I’m good; expect me to function without being pointed in the right direction – that’s a definite nope.
Now, if I do know what to do, or know what my resources are, I do a lot better. I have learned how to avoid the small emergencies of cuts/scrapes better so that I cut/scrape myself less frequently, and I have a big honkin’ first aid kit stuffed with bandaids and Neosporin and gauze, etc. that I can get to easily. I am a lot better now for having put together an adequate response and reminding myself of my ability to put on a bandaid.
I suspect that there are many of us who do not respond well to emergencies and not just because we are neurodivergent; when anybody sees blood, pain, destruction, etc., these are not normal and do provoke a response. I also suspect that a bit of training and preparing for emergencies helps mitigate a meltdown caused by traumatic events.
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Robert LarsonContributor - December 11, 2021
Going through the Boy Scouts of America program has done so much good for me in being well rounded and knowing how to handle things. We went over lessons on first aid, emergency rescue, camping, hiking, and many other things. I often turn back to those teachings I learned so long ago when I’m stuck in a sticky situation.
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LBV - December 11, 2021
I’m also neural diverse, but I’m the opposite. In the times I had been in emergencies I have usually remained calm and taken action. I don’t do emotion well, so its easy to seperate that part out of the equation. Having said that I also preplan things in my head. – ie on an flight I wear flat covered shoes, cotton/wool clothing, count my seat location away from emergency exits and pay close attention to the plane during ascent and decent.
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Robert LarsonContributor - December 11, 2021
Having said that I also preplan things in my head. – ie on an flight I wear flat covered shoes, cotton/wool clothing, count my seat location away from emergency exits and pay close attention to the plane during ascent and decent.
— That’s just called being smart. I wish I was in a good habit of thinking beforehand of what to wear, bring, and do. Good job!
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Joker - June 18, 2022
One of the issues that many people with autism suffer is that there can be a reduced range of situations that they’re comfortable with or fully understand. What you’re doing in training yourself is expanding your comfort zone by familiarising yourself and teaching yourself an appropriate response to a situation that may have caused a stress reaction in the past, that is admirable and I wish you well.
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Hardened - December 21, 2021
“… most of the time there is some lady just screaming.”
Another thought to consider: This may be an adaptive behavior. If a woman feels she is in danger and unable to handle the situation herself, then screaming may be the best way to attract other people who can help her. It may look irrational in a video when she’s already surrounded by people but this instinct may have evolved in an environment where there were fewer people around.
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Alicia - January 5, 2022
I just finished and am re-listening to “The Unthinkable: Who survives when disaster strikes and why” by Amanda Ripley. This describes the he phases humans go through in a disaster including the Freeze response and denial and rationalizing that it’s not really serious – needing to make it familiar. Fascinating. It also had statistics on how reading the safety card and knowing the exits increases chances of survival of a plane crash because they had the advantage of knowing where to go when seconds count.
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Alicia - January 6, 2022
This book was recommended on another thread which is how I learned about it. Also a book thread now.
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doommunky - June 17, 2022
This book is fantastic. Totally compelling and very well written.
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HappySoul - January 6, 2022
Good stuff on this thread. One more thought to stay safe. Some of us, (me included) have a tendency to take the right action in an emergency, but not take enough time to come off the adrenaline rush after things are dealt with. And we end up doing something stupid / dangerous as a result. When I took training to drive school bus years ago, the class was taught by a prior Vietnam medevac guy. He told us to remember that people usually recover from an emergency event about 20 to 30 minutes AFTER they think they are O.K. to move on. And about a year later, I had to “clothes line” some student to keep him from walking into freeway traffic about 10 minutes AFTER our bus was hit from behind. Your mind may be telling you that you are fine. But asking a first responder that’s on scene if you’re fine before you move on may just save your life.
And I too want to thank (!) our moderators for keeping this forum both educational and a joy to read!
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Gideon ParkerStaff - January 6, 2022
That is valuable information to be aware of. If you were involved in a car accident or other disaster, it may be best to sit still for half an hour to calm down and let the adrenaline wear off before trying to drive home or make other decisions.
Thank you for sharing your thanks to the staff here. We love to hear that people are enjoying the site.
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M. E.Contributor - January 7, 2022
This is excellent advice. People full of adrenaline think they are fine when they are not. For myself, when I have found myself adrenalized I exercise hard and fast. Multiple pushups. Super-fast walk (my knee won’t let me run any more!). Squats. The body needs movement to give that adrenaline somewhere to go. After about 10-20 minutes of that I’m much better able to think clearly. I love the advice to ask a first responder if they think you are okay – I would not have thought of that.
For others, I always assume they are more injured than they say they are. On more than one occasion I’ve witnessed relatively serious car crashes when visibly injured drivers were like Oh I’m fine! And they clearly thought it was true. I called an ambulance anyway and told the responders to assume head injury.
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Gideon ParkerStaff - January 7, 2022
More good advice! Get that heart pumping and body moving so that adrenaline has somewhere to go and gets flushed out of your body faster.
You bring up the point that often when you are in those situations where you would get an adrenaline rush, you are often injured. Which may be good to dull pain and get out of the situation, but you have to be careful that you don’t injure yourself further.
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July LewisContributor - January 7, 2022
OK I have a funny, non-disaster story this reminded me of. I lived in this big collective house in Berkeley and we became aware that a rat was getting into the house. One night we heard it behind the stove and we formed this posse to surround the stove and two people were going to move the stove, one person was going to go at it with a broom and other people were positioned to capture it with a bucket or something. I was in the front line – I felt confident, like a warrior – I am not squeamish and have done some pretty gross wildlife biology things in my time. I was going to get that rat with the bucket and be the hero. So we went into action, the stove was moved, the broom went under to flush it out and then it RAN STRAIGHT TOWARDS ME AND AAAAAAAAAAAA I JUMPED AWAY AND SCREAMED!! I would have jumped on a chair like in a freaking 60s sitcom if there had there been a chair nearby! All my heroism was wiped away by pure, screamy, hysterical instinct. And i laughed about it but I was actually ashamed and a little disturbed that my warrior mentality just disappeared when that rat ran at me – my actions were beyond thought, beyond control, and they were not at all what i wanted or intended. I have been calm in a crisis many times before, but the rat was my undoing.
So anyway…I guess my point is we never really know how we will react to a situation until it happens….and don’t get your ego too tied up in the person you think you are going to be!
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M. E.Contributor - January 8, 2022
This story is the BEST. It should go into ThePrepared Hall of Fame!
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Gideon ParkerStaff - January 8, 2022
I totally agree! Great story with a good lesson 🙂
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HappySoul - March 30, 2022
Good Evening Everyone,
A couple of things to add after what I posted at the end of Jan 2022 about asking a first responder to check you out before you leave the scene of an emergency to make sure you’re over the adrenaline rush BEFORE you try to make decisions again. My cronies off in California tell me a (thankfully) small minority of EMT / ambulance units are looking for any excuse to charge anyone for anything, trying to balance their budgets. Example, you stop to help clean up an auto accident, a medic asks if you want a water bottle, you accept it, and you get a $80 “field services” bill in the mail a month later. It may pay to be careful who you ask to evaluate you.
Also, a recent quote from an E.R. physician friend of mine:
“When you first arrive at the emergency, DON”T just do something. Observe, evaluate, banish impulsiveness, and take action. When the emergency is dealt with, DON’T do something, just sit there.”
Be safe out there.
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Dragoon - April 2, 2022
In the example you share about the $80 water bottle, I wonder if the paramedics get your info from the responding police officers or if you just don’t give it to them then they don’t know who to bill.
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Molly N. 😆 - June 23, 2022
Sad to say you may have to remember to ask the responding EMTs if they are within your insurance network before they treat you…😞 If not, start thinking about how you will pay for the very expensive care.
But remember, your health>any medical expenses.
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Joker - June 18, 2022
Fight or flight response can be trained however the freeze response is a subconscious (parasympathetic) reaction to massive amounts of stress hormones being dumped into your system. It is most likely to happen when we’re confronted by something we don’t fully understand or feel is beyond our control. I don’t know the origin of this response but it serves to protect many smaller creatures and may have been more useful at some other stage of our evolution. Mammals, young birds and children can survive by avoiding detection due to this response, literally freezing with fear. The problems happen when we have an inappropriate response to a situation and freezing places us in greater danger. The apparently useless screaming or profanity is usually a post parasympathetic response to relieve stress.
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Kira - June 20, 2022
Great points with the parasympathetic and post-parasympathetic responses! Freeze has a great reason for existing evolutionarily. Think of all the predators that look for motion- a prey animal (including a baby or vulnerable predator) freezing could fly under a lot of radars.
Fight and flight are both sympathetic responses to primarily adrenaline/epinephrine iirc, so they’re as trainable or not trainable as freezing. To your point, all of these responses are trainable to a degree. None of these are reflexes because they all start in the brain (and even a reflex can be overridden), so freezing once in one situation doesn’t mean you would freeze in a different one or that you can’t learn a different response to the situation that caused you to freeze.
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Carolyn - June 23, 2022
One of the best ways to practice being calm in unnerving situations is to be a mom. Your tyke is learning to ride a bike and goes over the handlebars? Calmly pick them up and apply first aid care with compassion and encouraging words. Your kid falls out of a tree and breaks their arm? Pull out the Sam Splint, wrap ’em up, buckle ’em in, and drive carefully to the clinic. Kid has an asthma attack and can barely breathe? Hook them up to the nebulizer and call the doctor or 911 as the situation dictates.
Seems to me that maturity and experience handling scary situations are good preparation for dealing with terrible events.
Also, when I was a lifeguard and later a ski patroller, we ran practice scenarios all the time to develop the brain pathways and muscle memory needed in emergencies. It makes sense to frequently visualize yourself reacting to crises with calm and prudence.
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Molly N. 😆 - June 23, 2022
Having the most precious thing in your life do dangerous things like riding a bike or climbing a tree, getting hurt and crying to you for comfort and if you are able to work on keeping your cool through all that, you are right, that is a way to work on not being hysterical. 😁
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