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Great thread, we are in this same situation. This is from a homesteading perspective, so not applicable to urban/suburban goals.  We rent in NYC (ugh, I know) but recently purchased a home in a very rural part of NY state. The plan is to rehab the home and property (35+ acres, mix of pasture/forest/stream/wetland) for relocation within 3-5 years. Home is a butt-ugly single wide with lots of issues, but the parcel and location far outweigh those costs. We have neighbors on the town-plowed road, but are very private and yet 10 minutes to the ER (read: kids plus power tools). We completely lucked out getting this place because it is a fantastic set up for both short term homesteading and long term sustainability for our family.  CR is right, the market is utterly insane and stick built homes are going for ridiculous prices. However, there are real values to be had with manufactured homes, which most folks in the “oh my gosh we need to buy something” mindset shy away from.  My goals with the home purchase were, in order of importance: 1) Land: acreage, water and variety. You can do a lot to improve the soil and pasture on your land but you can’t plant old growth trees and you don’t want to be relying solely on rain capture for water.  2) Proximity to a town for medical needs.  3) A habitable structure that did not need a full teardown 4) Relatively private but not isolated (ie, we have neighbors; make friends with neighbors) My mantra in making this happen was, ‘Put yourself in a position to be lucky’. I did not have money for a bidding war on a highly desirable property, so I knew I would need to find that half-crappy listing that folks wouldn’t immediately want. I also knew I would need to get the contract quickly, before people took a second look and thought, ‘Oh that’s actually not too bad…’ and then outbid me. Thus, I had all my preapprovals in order, letters from bank in hand, a local attorney ready to represent me, and a local inspector ready to jump in. I did not use an agent but I relentlessly contacted listing agents for properties. This worked in my favor because then the agent does not need to split the commission, which makes my offer more attractive. However, that also means I didn’t have an agent on my side advising me, so be prepared to go it alone. My home listed on a Friday afternoon, I was on the phone with the agent 10 minutes later and I was the first person to see the home the next morning. I made an offer that evening at asking price and contracts were signed within 48 hours. It is not my dream home, but it is a great opportunity. If you can understand the difference between dreams and potential, you will have a big leg up on the rest of the folks looking to buy in this market.  Regarding the work involved once you close, it is hard to overstate the learning curve for this kind of project. If you do not enjoy failing over and over again while learning hard lessons, this is not a path for you. Pretty sure that doesn’t apply to most folks here, but a fair warning. I am simultaneously digging footers for foundation piers, tearing apart transmissions on a tractor, building creek bridges and reinsulating a leaking roof while trying to plan for the tree/perennial growth twenty years out. I let about thirty things off that list, but you get the idea. That said, I am happier than I have ever been, knowing that I am creating a place for my family to be safe and self-sufficient in an increasingly unsteady future. It is also a fantastic opportunity to teach my kids how to actually learn and work in the world, rather than the stupid, mostly-pointless learning that occurs in school nowadays (I say that as a 20 year classroom teacher). Good luck to anyone looking to make a similar move. Josh and Redneck’s posts have been invaluable for my learning, so be sure to follow them closely. They will teach you a lot. 

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What a great thread amidst all the bad news! Thanks for starting this, Jay 🙂 Single dad of two boys under 10 living in NYC (yeah yeah), and we spend every possible moment scaring locals in the park or playgrounds if we aren’t out of the city on weekends in the wilds of New York State. It can be done, but can’t be forced.  Especially for younger kids, try to let them have as much control/say in an outing as possible. We often head to the park with all our flintknapping kit (I’m a shitty knapper but trying I swear), but they’ll end up wanting to tromp off and build a lean-to or do some imaginative play while I’m destroying spalls. If I tried to force them to knap the whole time, they’d be annoyed. But giving them as much freedom as possible creates a positive experience, which creates incentive to come out again.  I’m also letting my boys try out different activities and skills without forcing them to commit to one. I don’t mind if we spend one weekend fishing and then don’t come back to it because next weekend they want to hunt rabbits with the trainer bow and after that they want to practice fire building. Again, letting them drive the experience so they have positive associations with outdoors activities is my primary goal. I want them asking me when we can go do ____, not the other way around.  Hatchet and My Side of the Mountain are great, classic wilderness stories that are great read alouds for kids.  There are some decent shows that garner their interest, such as Alaska: The Last Frontier (some really horrible hunting practices, heads up) and Primal Survivor (kinda hokey but a cool idea and gets them interested).  My kids are also little gear heads, so they love building their own kits and getting new tools. Now that they are super interested in bushcraft/etc, we can have the “once you can do _(skill)__, then you will get _(tool)_” conversations, which drives motivation/excitement. And whining, truth be told.  @Redneck, I agree that devices tend to sap the attention and make this kind of engagement harder. But as a teacher, I truly believe that the natural environment/wilderness provides the perfect level of stimulus for humans of any age and, given the chance through repeated positive experiences, any kid can learn to enjoy time outside. 


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Great thread, we are in this same situation. This is from a homesteading perspective, so not applicable to urban/suburban goals.  We rent in NYC (ugh, I know) but recently purchased a home in a very rural part of NY state. The plan is to rehab the home and property (35+ acres, mix of pasture/forest/stream/wetland) for relocation within 3-5 years. Home is a butt-ugly single wide with lots of issues, but the parcel and location far outweigh those costs. We have neighbors on the town-plowed road, but are very private and yet 10 minutes to the ER (read: kids plus power tools). We completely lucked out getting this place because it is a fantastic set up for both short term homesteading and long term sustainability for our family.  CR is right, the market is utterly insane and stick built homes are going for ridiculous prices. However, there are real values to be had with manufactured homes, which most folks in the “oh my gosh we need to buy something” mindset shy away from.  My goals with the home purchase were, in order of importance: 1) Land: acreage, water and variety. You can do a lot to improve the soil and pasture on your land but you can’t plant old growth trees and you don’t want to be relying solely on rain capture for water.  2) Proximity to a town for medical needs.  3) A habitable structure that did not need a full teardown 4) Relatively private but not isolated (ie, we have neighbors; make friends with neighbors) My mantra in making this happen was, ‘Put yourself in a position to be lucky’. I did not have money for a bidding war on a highly desirable property, so I knew I would need to find that half-crappy listing that folks wouldn’t immediately want. I also knew I would need to get the contract quickly, before people took a second look and thought, ‘Oh that’s actually not too bad…’ and then outbid me. Thus, I had all my preapprovals in order, letters from bank in hand, a local attorney ready to represent me, and a local inspector ready to jump in. I did not use an agent but I relentlessly contacted listing agents for properties. This worked in my favor because then the agent does not need to split the commission, which makes my offer more attractive. However, that also means I didn’t have an agent on my side advising me, so be prepared to go it alone. My home listed on a Friday afternoon, I was on the phone with the agent 10 minutes later and I was the first person to see the home the next morning. I made an offer that evening at asking price and contracts were signed within 48 hours. It is not my dream home, but it is a great opportunity. If you can understand the difference between dreams and potential, you will have a big leg up on the rest of the folks looking to buy in this market.  Regarding the work involved once you close, it is hard to overstate the learning curve for this kind of project. If you do not enjoy failing over and over again while learning hard lessons, this is not a path for you. Pretty sure that doesn’t apply to most folks here, but a fair warning. I am simultaneously digging footers for foundation piers, tearing apart transmissions on a tractor, building creek bridges and reinsulating a leaking roof while trying to plan for the tree/perennial growth twenty years out. I let about thirty things off that list, but you get the idea. That said, I am happier than I have ever been, knowing that I am creating a place for my family to be safe and self-sufficient in an increasingly unsteady future. It is also a fantastic opportunity to teach my kids how to actually learn and work in the world, rather than the stupid, mostly-pointless learning that occurs in school nowadays (I say that as a 20 year classroom teacher). Good luck to anyone looking to make a similar move. Josh and Redneck’s posts have been invaluable for my learning, so be sure to follow them closely. They will teach you a lot. 

What a great thread amidst all the bad news! Thanks for starting this, Jay 🙂 Single dad of two boys under 10 living in NYC (yeah yeah), and we spend every possible moment scaring locals in the park or playgrounds if we aren’t out of the city on weekends in the wilds of New York State. It can be done, but can’t be forced.  Especially for younger kids, try to let them have as much control/say in an outing as possible. We often head to the park with all our flintknapping kit (I’m a shitty knapper but trying I swear), but they’ll end up wanting to tromp off and build a lean-to or do some imaginative play while I’m destroying spalls. If I tried to force them to knap the whole time, they’d be annoyed. But giving them as much freedom as possible creates a positive experience, which creates incentive to come out again.  I’m also letting my boys try out different activities and skills without forcing them to commit to one. I don’t mind if we spend one weekend fishing and then don’t come back to it because next weekend they want to hunt rabbits with the trainer bow and after that they want to practice fire building. Again, letting them drive the experience so they have positive associations with outdoors activities is my primary goal. I want them asking me when we can go do ____, not the other way around.  Hatchet and My Side of the Mountain are great, classic wilderness stories that are great read alouds for kids.  There are some decent shows that garner their interest, such as Alaska: The Last Frontier (some really horrible hunting practices, heads up) and Primal Survivor (kinda hokey but a cool idea and gets them interested).  My kids are also little gear heads, so they love building their own kits and getting new tools. Now that they are super interested in bushcraft/etc, we can have the “once you can do _(skill)__, then you will get _(tool)_” conversations, which drives motivation/excitement. And whining, truth be told.  @Redneck, I agree that devices tend to sap the attention and make this kind of engagement harder. But as a teacher, I truly believe that the natural environment/wilderness provides the perfect level of stimulus for humans of any age and, given the chance through repeated positive experiences, any kid can learn to enjoy time outside. 


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